We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
