I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
