How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
