eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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