Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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