Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
