Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
