I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
