Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
