i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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