We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
