I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize