You just made me feel so damn special
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
