i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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