i just wanna soil my oats bro
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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