Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
