Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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