maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
whose ass print is on the piano?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
