when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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