C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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