I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
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he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks