hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.