theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.