GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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