hotel room ftw
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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