just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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