ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
