Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
