Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
