'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
