HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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