I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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