Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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