Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
