Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
