Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
BRING THE BAGELS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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