paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
