Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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