I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
