Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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