I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
