we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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