im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
worst night to have a conscience
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
