i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
