We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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