I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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