i think i have herpe
just one?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
