So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
