I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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