You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize