and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
