That's intense
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
