We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize