i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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