How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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