i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
