oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
